All Searching for Something

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I've always heard the old adage "We all have a God-shaped hole in our hearts that only He can fill." It's one of those commonly spoken phrases that almost seems to lose its significance after awhile. I've always believed that all people have a sense that there is something greater than themselves. Someone that must be in charge of our lives and this crazy world we live in.

And then something happens that awakens this belief .

Those moments that make me realize how desperate some people really are without Jesus. How desperate we all are without Jesus.

How desperate we are, if left to ourselves, to cling to anything in this passing world that will bring us peace or hope or a sense of purpose.

We're all searching for God. Even when we don't realize it.

This past Halloween I dressed up as Tinkerbell. I went all out. I came to work completely decked out in all things Tinkerbell. I had a bright, shimmery green dress with the signature scalloped edges and glittery, gold tights. I even had "real" fairy dust that would create a perfect glitter star when dipped in the magical jar and pressed on the skin. But I didn't stop there. As soon as I arrived to work and to get into true Tinkerbell character, I began to saunter around the room sprinkling fairy dust on anyone that would let me.

In the middle of all this, one of my co-workers came running over to me with huge, pleading eyes. She dropped to her knees and begged me to sprinkle her with my magic fairy dust. "I really need it. There's something I'm really praying for" she said. And then I did what I usually do when faced with an uncomfortable situation. I giggled. I didn't really think it was funny. I actually just didn't know how to respond as the situation quickly unfolded.

And then my heart sank as I dipped my wand into the powerless fairy dust and held it over her head as it delicately fell onto her hair and skin, hoping that she wasn't really serious.

That she didn't really believe in the mystical power of some store-bought glitter wrapped in an attractive package. Hoping that her hope and faith wasn't in this useless man-made product. But it was.

Because she was grasping for anything. And here this was. Maybe this would bring her heart's desires to pass. Why not?

I realized once again that people really will reach out for anything and everything that they can to fill the unmistakable void in their hearts. Some seek after relationships, some status. Some might fill the void with alcohol or drugs or money or education. The packages they are wrapped in are many. But they all prove false. They all leave us empty.

And on this day I realized some even hope and trust in fairy dust.

God, have mercy on us.

The Battle Within

Wed, 5 Dec 2007 00:00:00 GMT

It was on the National Mall when a precious Chinese pastor visited my team's missions table that I knew. He knew no English and was visiting Washington, D.C. with a friend. There wasn't anything really substantial or life-changing that was spoken in our short interaction. Yet I knew. As he walked away to visit countless other famous landmarks and memorials before heading back to his native country, I was literally shaking. God had spoken. Missions was for me. In what capacity, I did not know. Was I to be a full-time, career missionary or would missions just be one of my greatest passions, something that I would invest my life into, but not be my choice of vocation?

And from then on it was evident that God was preparing me. For years I have not been able to deny the overwhelming desire to give God a year of my life and to be a part of what He is doing all over the world. Even when seemingly well-intentioned people would encourage me to put it off until I was retired and "really had time" or to wait until I had my life figured out. Something in my heart did not resonate with that.

Well, here it is. I miraculously found out about The World Race. I applied. I was accepted. We leave in 1 month. 1 month! And as incredibly exciting and awe-inspiring as this is, I cannot deny that the voices of Doubt and Fear are threatening to drown out the still, small Voice of my Creator. The only real Voice that I am interested in hearing.

Are you sure about this? Did God REALLY call you to this? What if He didn't and you go forward in it? What if He isn't there to catch you?

What about my friend's wedding...applying for graduate school...starting graduate school...establishing and getting ahead in a career?

Who does this? Dropping everything and having one month to prepare? What will I do when I come back? What if I don't have a plan?

And the list goes on and on and threatens to overwhelm me. Threatens to paralyze me with fear and doubt as I cry out to God to be louder and more real than the thoughts raging through my head.

Be louder, Lord. Fight for me. I need You. I am desperate for You.

It is then that I remember He has already spoken. And His voice is the only one with true authority.

His Voice then gently washes over me...

"We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things." (1 John 3:19-20)

"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7)

"But you are a CHOSEN RACE, a ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, a HOLY NATION, a PEOPLE FOR GOD'S OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light..." (1 Peter 2:9)

Lord, teach me to fight!

He Calls Me Beloved Katie Friday - The World Race 2008

All Searching for Something

The Battle Within